Ego
Lately, I have been reading Secrets of Secrets by Shaykh Abd al-Qadir al-Jilani’s. The greater Jihad or Jihad al-Akbur according to the prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, is the struggle against one’s ego. When the prophet pbuh came back from battle, he would tell his companions that they had come back from the lesser Jihad to fight the greater Jihad. In today’s world, this greater Jihad is ever more necessary and in many ways more tough. With devices such as mobile phones, facebook, twitter, there are so many more ways for our ego to get soothed. Me, for one, is constantly fighting my own ego.
In Shaykh Jilani’s book, he talks of his ego trying to befriend him:
During my stay in the deserts outside Baghdad, all that appears beautiful but is temporal and of this world came to seduce me. Allah protected me from their harm. The Devil, appearing in different forms and shapes, kept coming to me, tempting me, bothering me, and fighting me. Allah rendered me victorious over him. My ego visited me daily in my own form and shape, begging me to be its friend. When I would refuse, it would attack me. Allah rendered me victorious in my continuous fight against it. In time, I was able to make it my prisoner and I kept it with me all those years, forcing it to stay in the ruins of the desert… I didn’t give a minute’s rest or comfort to my ego, to the low desire of my flesh.
He spent a lot of time discussing his battle with the ego; More so than the battle against the devil. This shows the emphasis he placed on the greater Jihad. Shaykh Jilani stayed out in the desert for over 7 years fighting his ego. Most of us struggle battling the ego for 7 minutes before giving up to have a burger meal when we are hungry.
There is a great part of me which wants to leave all these big cities and settle down somewhere away from civilisation so that I could spend some time away from the comfort of dunya. Lately, I have been tired of pleasing people around me as well as pleasing my own ego. Little chance of that happening!
