On seclusion
I have been trying to stay away from people lately because I think my love for this world has increased manifold since going back to Hong Kong. I really need some time to connect to God again. I think I have managed that by reciting the Quran. Incidentally I bought another Imam Al-Ghazali book which I am reading. He talks about the undesirable elements of staying away from people, I.e. living in seclusion. I think this applies to me:
The third detriment is that one is deprived of the spiritual struggle and spiritual self-discipline that comes from enduring the nature of people. This is a great benefit for the person who has not yet fully attained spiritual self-discipline, for a good nature is the root of all spiritual disciplines and acts of worship. They are not accomplished without mixing (with mankind), as a good nature is that one which tolerates the absurdities of people. The servants of the Sufi mix so that by means of the begging from the ordinary folk they may shatter their pride and haughtiness. The smash their miserliness by providing for the Sufis. By enduring their bad dispositions, they cut off their bad dispositions from themselves.
The nature of people are difficult to endure. I think my own nature is hard for others around me to endure. I am struggling sometimes to find the balance. Those who have seen the other side of me would find me very hard to tolerate for I am someone who possess a lot of bad dispositions.
It is a long and hard road ahead. But I knew I had to be steadfast, that would triumph in the end. They say you can’t move a mountain in a day. But with endurance, you can file a metal pole into a pin. So it is a Sufi characteristic to endure the different dispositions in the world in an attempt to rid myself of my ‘self’. As Abu Madyan r.a. said just before he died, “Allahu Haqq”. The truth is God.
